i have the mumps

Or so the doctor says. She also said it could be an ear infection.

So now I'm home alone with antivirals and antibiotics trying to rest this fever away and not infect anyone. And I'm worried. The facial swelling is not painful; neither are my balls. (Orchitis. "You could become sterile," the doctor said; "It doesn't matter," I said laughing.) I worry because my left ear is hurting. And sounds come through slightly muffled. My precious left ear. My dominant ear, the one I use when I want to focus on anything. The right ear is lazy. And so I would much rather prefer mumps and the risk of sterility over an ear infection. Fertility is wasted on me, but you see, I need both ears in tip top shape for music. Not to be dramatic or offensive, but great music, not the idea of adding my progeny to this overpopulated world of ours, enriches my life.

Should I go console myself with Callas now?